Ep. 21: How to Build Your Self Esteem With A Thank You!

If you’ve been following my blog or podcast for some time then you probably know how much I align with David Richo’s “5 A’s” (Acceptance, Allowance, Affection, Appreciation, Attention). In fact, it’s the basis of my first eBook and very much attuned to how I love my life.

It’s important to note this because too often we are receiving the love we need from others without even realizing it. It becomes even more damaging for those of us who struggle with loving ourselves. If we already struggle with loving ourselves and then don’t acknowledge when others are loving us where does this leave us?

In this podcast I talk about one way that so many of us (yours truly, included) miss out on receiving love without even knowing it. Do you remember the last time someone directly or indirectly thanked you? It’s likely it even happened today. It doesn’t even have to be a long drawn out “thank you” but perhaps you held the door for someone and it happened then.

If you’re having a hard time remembering the last time it’s likely because you’re not even noticing it. In fact, I’d venture to say that the last time someone did thank you you either replied with a “oh, no problem” or a “you don’t need to thank me”. I say this because I’ve been a victim of the same thing. People would thank me for a myriad of favors I did and I either didn’t hear the thank you or I would put it off as being no big deal or I might even thank them right back!

Other Person: “Thank you!”

Me: “No, Thank you!”

I couldn’t even accept a thank you! I had to give it right back to them! No, this isn’t the beginning of a Seinfeld show, although I could totally see Jerry going off on a tangent about the “thank you’s” not being accepted as they should. Which brings me to my point.

When other people thank us a lot of love is going on! They are giving us attention, acceptance, and appreciation. That’s at least 3 out of those “5 A’s” I was talking about earlier! Yet, many of us will still complain that we don’t get the attention, acceptance, or appreciation we so need and deserve.

So what I’m inviting you to do (as well as myself) is to take in that love! Take in those “thank you’s”. The next time someone thanks you for something, no matter how big or small, do not say anything in return. Yes, you can say, “You’re welcome” but leave it at that. Then take all that attention, acceptance, and appreciation in and remind yourself that you are loved.

Most of our day is spent hearing stories in our own head about how we’re not enough, we’re too fat, we’re too ugly, or not smart enough. The only way to contradict this negative (and worse than negative), untrue self talk is to start telling ourselves things that are true! I am appreciated and I am loved are just two true stories you can tell yourself and they’re both based off of a simple thank you. I promise this will truly make a difference in your life!

Now, to listen to much more and find out how this has made a huge impact in how I give thank you to others listen to this weeks podcast! For those looking to improve their relationships then you’re going to want to listen because it involves a new way of communicating with my wife.

In the show you’ll hear this weeks ISA Challenge:

1. Listen carefully for the next Thank You that someone offers you.

2. Say, “You are welcome” and nothing more!

3. Take it in and remind yourself that you are good, you are lovable, and that you do matter.

Renewing our self esteem and becoming the best version of who we are doesn’t happen overnight. But it does happen by taking simple and clear steps every day that remind ourselves about what is true in our world!