Ep. 29: The Single Most Important Thing You Need to Know

In this weeks episode I share the single most important thing you need to know! So what’s this all about? Well, in this episode I thought it was important to share what I consider to be the fundamentals and the foundation of self-awareness. Why is this important?

Well we all want to be happy, right? We all want to have the opportunity to find our purpose in life and live out our passions. We want to love and be loved by others and we want to know that at the end of our lives we’ve made a difference in this world. Did I sum that up pretty well? I know this holds true for me and I can imagine that’s true for you as well. So how come we have so much trouble doing this?

Often times we point back to not having enough Self Love. The easy way to know that is by looking at the opposite effect which is self hatred. If you hate yourself you’re not going to be happy, you likely have no idea what your purpose is – in fact, you probably think  (incorrectly so) that there isn’t a purpose for you, there probably aren’t a lot of healthy and loving relationships and it’s going to be really hard to contribute to the world as you were intended.

If we know that self hatred leads down a dark path that many of us are and have experienced – by the way I certainly have most of my life – then self love must take us down the other path. I think that’s pretty clear and I haven’t heard too many people make the argument for hating yourself to reach enlightenment.

The problem is you can’t just start loving yourself. In fact, before you love yourself there’s actually one additional element and that is the foundation of all of this and all of life (well your life anyway). That foundation is called Self Awareness. You can’t love yourself if you have no idea who the heck you are, right? In fact, this is probably the most common question asked among all age groups, genders, cultures, ethnicities, races, religions, etc. More specifically the question, “Who Am I?”. This is exactly why I created this podcast to help answer that question. And to answer that question we need to understand who we are.

I love talking about the topic and in fact if I had to present somewhere (hint, hint…if you’re looking for a speaker EMAIL ME!) it would definitely be about this or at least incorporate this.

The one thing that you probably don’t tell yourself that you should start is this…

“I am NOT what I think, what I feel, or what I do.”

So what does that mean exactly? Well, first you should be listening to the podcast. I go into much more detail on the show and I really think you’re going to benefit by hearing my thoughts on this as this post will quickly turn into a book! Hey, there’s an idea! 😉

Let me give you the quick version though and then when you have 40 minutes you’re washing dishes, exercising, driving, or running errands go listen to the podcast.

I am not what I think.

So why is this true? Well, your thoughts if they are anything like mine are all over the place. From fantasies to day dreaming to thinking about worst case scenario to telling ourselves we aren’t good enough. Our thoughts leave our brains just as quickly as they come in. How could who we are be based on something that just flies in and out and changes from one second to the next?

More importantly, if you stop long enough you’ll notice that there are actual gaps in between our thoughts. True, it might be a fraction of a nano-second but there are gaps in between our thoughts. A brief period of time where we literally aren’t having a thought. In those moments, you still exist, right? Of course you do! It’s not like if you can meditate and not have a thought for 7 seconds that you somehow get teleported to some foreign planet right?

So clearly we are not our thoughts. If this is the case then we can stop BEING not good enough, not smart enough, and not attractive enough. Because, clearly those are thoughts we have and we are not our thoughts. So the next time you have a thought that you are not enough, simply notice that you are having that thought and then go and respond based on WHO YOU ARE and not on what you are thinking in that given moment.

I am not what I feel.

Everything I just said about thoughts holds true for feelings. We’ll be happy one moment and pissed off or scared to death 2 seconds later. What’s up with that? Well, those are just feelings! Yes, feelings are important and they can tell us a lot about what’s going on in our world.

All too often we confuse who we are with how we feel. We feel lonely and we become alone. We feel anxious and we become an anxiety attack. We feel sad and we become depressed. We feel angry and we become enraged. We’re literally turning into our feelings! Not surprising why so many heart attacks and heart illnesses are due to stress and guess what stress is? A feeling! We’re literally feeling our way into the hospital!

The good news is that while you do produce feelings you are the creator of them, not the victim of them. At least you don’t have to be anymore. Here’s how…

The next time you feel something (e.g.; happy, sad, frustrated, scared, anxious, angry, etc.) literally say, “Hello ______” inserting the name of the feeling into the blank. This might sound funny but you want to be able to give yourself just enough separation between WHO YOU ARE and how you feel! You get to have feelings and not become them. True? Of course!

I am not what I do.

We were all convinced at a young age that who we are has everything to do with what we do. That’s why we all wanted to be popular, get into that great school, get that degree, get that job, get that raise, make that money, buy that house, and have those friends. AND, if we didn’t do those things then we felt like crap. We would do our best to avoid people knowing the truth about ourselves for fear that that would find out “who we really are”.

All the while, who we are actually had nothing to do with what we did!! When you were born and for the first couple years of your life you didn’t do anything! Right? I mean you ate, slept and pooped but that was about it! You were still here, right? More than that, you were beautiful, creative, intelligent, important, enough, and whole. Yet you didn’t do anything. So who told you that after being born all these things you had to then go and spend the rest of your life proving yourself? It’s ridiculous!! We’ve gone from human beings to human doings. We’re all so busy and for what? Those few times we’re not busy and we’re so uncomfortable with not doing something that we freak out!

This week I want you to practice these exercises and practice telling yourself the single most important thing:

“I am not what I think, I am not what I feel, and I am not what I do.”

On the podcast I also give appreciation to those of you who have left reviews on iTunes. Unfortunately, many of you have left reviews months ago but I never saw them until just recently. Countries outside of the US show up differently in iTunes but fortunately I found a way to get these reviews so a big shout out to all of you in non-US countries like New Zealand, UK, Italy, Australia, and beyond who have left reviews.

It would help me out so much IF YOU left me a review on iTunes! If you could just take 3 minutes right now by clicking here! That link will take you to iTunes where you can launch the iTunes application and leave a written review. I would be so grateful!!

Let me know your thoughts on this weeks topic as I’d love to hear from you and if we’re not connected on Facebook then please join me in the conversation over there!

Much Love and Big Hugs!!