Ep. 09: The Truth Behind Forgiveness

In this episode of The I Simply Am Podcast I break forgiveness down into two parts and share with you the real truth about what it is and what it’s not. If someone has ever hurt you in anyway then you really should listen to this episode. Below are the show notes for the episode.

ISA Community News:

  • Within the next month I’m going to start bringing on some great guests! I’ll likely bring on someone every other week but if you think I should have guests on more or less than that please let me know!
  • Check out the Terri Cole Radio Show on Hay House – Click Here for Terri’s Show!
  • Thank you to all that are listening. We’re now being listened to in more than 57 countries and even spent time in the iTunes Top 10 Self Help Podcast list!
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ISA Community Appreciation

On this weeks show we gave appreciation to 3 ISA Facebook Members: Christopher Severance,  Cheyenne Christine Naegler, and David Madow.

If you’d like to get some Appreciation simply join us on Facebook and let me hear from you. I’ll be happy to mention your business or site here on the show as well.

Show Topic: The Truth Behind Forgiveness 

  • When others ask for forgiveness it’s not about you, it’s about them.
  • Those that ask for forgiveness do so they can feel better about themselves.
  • They move on and you’re stuck with the pain they left you.
  • Even worse, it’s often shame that causes you to “forgive” them.
  • Leads to a shame-bind, feel ashamed for feeling hurt because you forgave them.
  • Forgiveness is not something you give, it’s something you get.
  • Forgiveness is the bi-product of healing.
  • When we go through the work of healing, forgiveness is the gift.
  • The gift is not for those that hurt us, the gift is that we can detach from the constricted feelings of pain.
  • You know when you have found forgiveness because you are no longer victim to the pain that was caused you.
  • Some traumas are so severe that we may never find forgiveness. It may be a struggle just to process the healing.

What Forgiveness is NOT

  • It’s not suggesting that what they did was acceptable. It was wrong then and it’s wrong now.
  • It’s not given to those that hurt us. It’s for us.
  • It’s not something that is given at will. It only comes as a result of healing.
  • It’s not something we should ever be shamed into doing.
  • While forgiveness is a goal, it’s not something we’re ever responsible for obtaining.

What Forgiveness IS

  • It’s a gift for those that suffered from the abuse of others (mental, spiritual, religious, emotional, physical, sexual).
  • It is a result of true inner healing.
  • It is something that comes naturally.
  • It is what allows you to fully embrace your wholeness and live a life of fullness and abundance.
  • It is the sign that you have returned to true inner peace.

Weekly ISA Challenge:A Path to Forgiveness

Step 1. Think of something that someone did to offend or hurt you. Don’t use any major traumas for this exercise.
Step 2. Acknowledge that the only thing that could have driven that person to hurt you was their own internal suffering.
Step 3. Affirm yourself with the following statement: “I AM and I have ALWAYS been Safe, Important, and Valuable EVEN WHEN others lash out with their own internal suffering.”
Step 4. Make a decision to not carry around the perpetrators anger, frustration, and shame any longer.